Think about this when developing your marketing campaigns.

Who would you respond to? Someone who tracks you down, cajoles you, and relentlessly lurks in the shadows, or someone who makes you feel special in their presence?

For years, most marketers have been stalkers. We define and segment our target consumers, follow their every move so our marketing messages can reach them through whatever media they use, and hit them repeatedly with “act now” messages. As a result, our stalked audiences turn to media where they think they can escape marketing messages, like digital social networks and mobile channels. Of course, they can’t escape for long, because advertisers are always trying to get their messages wherever consumers’ eyeballs are. (And the media owners are usually all too happy to cooperate for the advertising revenue.)

There’s certainly nothing wrong with audience segmentation and targeted contacts. But marketers need to think about the mindset of the audience. Now that we’ve got our targeted consumers running for their caves, how do we lure them out?

It’s time for all marketers to become suitors and not stalkers.

In contemporary marketing parlance, it is no longer appropriate to advocate “capturing” a customer. Today, we seek to “engage” the consumer. This is all very well and good in theory, but how many marketers really understand the difference between invitation and intrusion? There’s still a lot of stalking going on.

So, when you plan your marketing campaigns, think about how you can be an attractive suitor. How can you make your customers feel better about themselves when transacting with your company, product, or service? Does your message and offer charm your audience, or harass and annoy?

Adopt the precepts of permission marketing — not just when using highly personal communications channels like email and mobile, but in all of your marketing communications. Ask consumers about when and how they’d prefer to be contacted. As any good suitor knows, both partners must have a say in a successful relationship.

What marketing methods are proving effective for you with today’s increasingly fickle consumer audience? What marketing campaigns do you admire and respond to? Are you choosing stalking over the ways of the suitor? We’d like to know.